From “scrub” to scribe…what a transformation it has been!
First of all, let’s define “scrub.” A scrub is an “uncool person (or jerk);” one who “lacks class;” someone possessing little money; lacking in transportation; without a place to live. Yep! That about sums it up!
I don’t have a pleasant past, no doubt about that, but I have come a long way and that’s all that matters. I am finally ready to open up and share my life with those who may need some buoying up themselves!
I was a selfish person. I could care less about anyone except myself. Really! I had no regard for others’ feelings or needs. Period. It wasn’t even something that crossed my mind! Even if someone felt hurt and tried to explain their pain to me, which stemmed from my actions towards them, I probably cussed them out and walked away. Yeah…that was me. And I doubt the drugs helped. In fact, they probably were a big cause of my actions. Not probably – they were.
Things of the world – substances, addiction, inappropriate media – it all changes you. When I say “you” I mean the person you really are. We all came to this earth from a much higher place physically and spiritually. We are all born of God, and we all resided with Him before we counseled together that we would come down to gain experience. Let me paint a better picture on this. When a mother bird lays her eggs, she innately does what must be done. She protects them and keeps them safe in her nest. It isn’t until they are ready to hatch that they do so. It isn’t until they and she know it is time for them to fly that she helps them along. Well, likewise, we were born of Heavenly Parents before we were born of our earthly ones.
They kept us near Them and nurtured us until it was ready for us to “learn to fly.” Luckily for us, we are blessed with stewards to help us along – people who love and care for us and have gained some experience for themselves before we joined their family. Anyway, you get it now, so let me move on.
The “you” that is here on earth should be finding the inner “you” that you once were. We all have different processes to get there, but it should be all of our goals!
Let me share my experience, briefly, with you.
I described in the beginning of this post a word that was once used for me – a rude name I was called by others, so to speak. Well, that imperfect, flawed, blemished “me” was not Me. I strongly believe, today, that I chose the path I did in the preexistence. Remember? The place we resided with our Heavenly Parents only a few short years ago. I strongly believe that I told Father “Father? I would really like to have compassion for people. I would like to understand them as thou doth understand them. I would like to know what it is like to walk in their shoes. I would like to be able to comfort those that few can. I love all my brothers and sisters, and wish to serve them in this manner.” He and I, and many others, counseled together what I would do. But blinders had to be put on me. We call those blinders “the veil.”
After a bruised up face, a bloody mouth, a call to the police, and a much longer phone conversation with my mother, I was stripped away. Material things were gone, and so was my spirit. I needed to find myself again. I realized that if my choices brought me that, then I was doing something seriously wrong! Well, of course I wouldn’t have made the decision to go back to church on my own, so that is why my mother stepped in. She fulfilled her duty in the plan, and let it be known that so long as I lived under her roof, I was to obey her rules. Church attendance on Sunday was one of them. Little did I know that was exactly where I needed to be.
All that occurred only about six years ago! That’s right, I am basically a six-year-old convert! But, how did I go from that to this!?
First of all, the only way anyone can go from unhappy, and all that entails, to truly joyful is and will always be through the atonement of Jesus Christ! That is the truth of it all. But, the question is how I am the person I am today? Writing my testimonies to the world, sharing my stories of hope, never giving up, believing so much in the Son of God, wanting more than anything else that every person who has ever lived, is living now, and will ever live, can know what I know – can feel what I feel. How did I get to this point?
I strongly dislike the fact that what we refer to as “the primary answers” has been given such a title. Those answers go far beyond little learning children, though we shall always remember how precious they are. Those answers are Celestial answers, and we should treat them as such! For those who may not know what I am talking about: what we have foolishly nicknamed “primary answers” are praying, attending church, and reading our scriptures. Those simple actions are the very activities I have done every day, without fail! When I feel there is something more I should be doing, I study a little harder, I listen a little better, and I pray a little more. I am never stagnant. I cannot afford to be. One who does not move in either direction is destined to be pulled down by the adversary. I will not have that be my life ever again.
And, as always, I tell you this for you.
Yes, this is my story, but anyone can go from defeat to triumph through God – through the atonement of Jesus Christ. It takes daily action. It takes a desire for growth. It takes a willingness to submit to the plan the Lord has for you. Not only the plan the Lord has for you, but the plan You counseled with Him You would carry out in this mortal probation. There is no time to wait anymore. The time is soon at hand when the Lord will come, and so help the soul who knows he could have done more. That too is why I am doing this: writing this blog. It’s never enough, nor should it be. There is always something more that you can be doing. We should all be in this together. We are brothers and sisters! Let’s help one another! That is my sincere prayer – that we all live up to our greatest potential – in the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen.